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GeeAR611
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Name: GeeAR611
Country: United States
State: California
Gender: Male
Interests: My hobbies.. I like to skateboard.. eventhough I stopped.. oo and I'm learning the guitar.. it's a wonderful instrument.. but other than that I just like hanging out with my buddy ol' pals and all that good shiznit...i.e. RULING THE WORLD... heh
Expertise: Few know this but I am.. yes me.. am a master of disguise...yes it is true...furthermore, I AM... the lord of the dance... as well as..the true 007...creator of Coca Cola... and I also write novels under the name of...Tom Clancy I am also an expert at.........RULING THE WORLD...wa ha ha ha.. that and skatebaording.. sometimes..
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/3/2002
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| Xanga, I'm sorry for neglecting you. It definitely has been a while. I remember when I use to write to you every day. I bit childish, a but melodramatic. But this is where it has brought me. Back to you. My trusty xanga. I got to tell you something. You know how they say, if you love something let it go. And if it's true they will come back. I always wondered which end I was on. In some instances I felt I was the one letting go, in some instances I felt as if I was the one coming back. Love is complicated. Life is complicated. But let me put it to you like this. There's never a recipe for love. Because love is always changing. But with love, you have to adjust. To the times, to the situation. You have to adjust. And with anything, you have to listen, and understand to do this. I'm stuck in the middle. Am I the one coming back, or am I the one letting go. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore... But let's be real... How I felt: I thought there was potential... real real real potential. I thought that there could have been something. But it never actually made it to that point. It was if I was never good enough. The comparisons, the put downs, the fights. I always gave up on fighting, because it wasn't worth it to me. Why fight when you could be happy. And that's what I wanted, happiness. I had found this beautiful girl,someone I was willing to fight for. I understood the situation. I felt like I understood relationships. All that petty shit, isn't worth it. I wanted it to work. I wanted it real bad. But it reached this point where making it work, meant me being miserable. I wanted her happy, but when I mentioned me wanting something. A fight insued. It seemed as if, at the end of the day, it wouldn't ever be me making her happy. If you love something, let it go... | | |
| It's really been a good minute since I've actually posted in here.
I used to love this so much. Just to get to express all my feelings through something. I've never been a good at too much. I played sports, but it wasn't really an outlet for emotions. It was more to quench my competitive spirit. But, this was my haven. A little place where I could spill everything and somehow it would all get cleaned up.
I started to write this because I had an epiphany. Somewhat minor, but it really came as a shock. Let me start like this.
There are times when you are sad, and times when you are happy. And the happiness/sadness could last for days and weeks, or they could be fleeting. I used to think that generally my life was pretty happy. But when I thought about where I was today. I didn't know if I was generally happy, or generally sad. I was somewhere in the middle. This place where every emotion could vanish in the blink of the eye. I imagine it to be something like being bi-polar. But I'm pretty confident I'm not.
I thought about how I spent my last few days. And these highs have seemed to match the lows. It used to not be like this. I wonder what the change is. Why I don't write in here as often as I used to. Or why I've kind of been neglecting other aspects in my life. Maybe I just need to chill.
I think that's a plan.
P.S. I miss this too because I miss reading people's blogs too. aloonnyl, charlenedeguzman, oitzsweetnesso.
haha I think that was my first xanga shout out.. but it's been a long day, hope to see you more often old friend.
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| Should the best things in life come easy? The question seems to be coming up a lot lately.
I mean, how hard should you fight, and how are you supposed to know when it's hopeless. Given, you can do whatever you want. Things will get in the way, hinder you from reaching your goal, but if you keep at it, I figure that ultimately you'll reach that goal. There are so many things I want in life, but I'm trying to think, where is it taking me, what am I losing along the way and how is any of it really benefiting my future situation. Screw money and all that material bullshit. I just want to have fun and be able to support the endeavors I have set out for myself. Other than that I don't need much else. I want to learn, and be well versed in the ways of the world. I want to understand people, but there's so much to learn. And after learning and experiencing some things these questions come up again.
I guess I'll keep pushing and see where this road leads. Hopefully I don't lose myself along the way. And if I am, please let me know. Holla back yee yee and a yaddida yizzer. That was for shits and giggles. Handle what you handle.
(That's my 4 minute rant before I force myself to get off this computer)
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| It's been a minute xanga... haha straight up like I'm talkin to you.
But let me tell you what I've been up to.
A lot of business gettin handled, a lot that isn't. All in all I'd say I'm content. I mean I could go either way about it.
But let me tell you this, is this how it should be? I mean, I've always been the kind of person to look on the bright side of things. When it came time to wait, "Good things come to those who wait." When it came time to act, "You'll never get what you want unless you try." But it seems as if this time it has gotten to a point where this isn't always the case, and it's sort of blowing my mind. I mean. You'll never get what you want if the people aren't ever willing to give. Given there's always a chance, but at the same time, is it worth all the effort to find this chance?
I'm good people, don't get me wrong. I could be lyin in the gutter half dead and broke, but I'll be happy for the experience (perhaps an exaggeration, but nonetheless I'm about the experiences). But I'm definitely weighing the options, is this benefiting me? Am I becoming a better person? How is this effecting everyone else?
Other than that, things are okay. I'm happy, quite happy.
6 weeks tomorrow..
J-Leeze OUT!
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| Just because it's not talked about doesn't mean that it's not there. A lot of unresolved issues and what not. But here's the thing. It seems like things are real good right now. Nothing really affecting either side, and shoot, if it's going good, why disrupt a good thing. That's all I have to say. No I'm happy for this or for that, just that it seems like it really is better now. So on to the next subject. What's cool is that hardly anyone reads this, what's even better is that now it has become a bit of a release. I mean before, I used to come on here like, "I did this today, and then did that. Now I'm doing this" Blah blah blah, for days on end. But let me tell you folks something. I'm feelin this girl, and you know what's really cool about it, is that I'm not rushing into anything. Normally, I'll be all over it, like let me talk to you all the time, message and call. Even when I wasn't sure if she felt the same way, which is kind of boo boo, and I would get myself into trouble. But as of right now, it seems as if things are going real nicely. But I'll keep my mouth shut as to not cause a stir. Cutie.. heh | | |
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